Last week, I had a beautiful conversation with a young mother who reached out wanting to talk to me about her son.

The young boy, just four years old, has shown signs of being neurodivergent. His mother courageously expressed to me her fear that he might not be able to thrive in the way that all parents hope for.

As a father to a young boy of similar age, the conversation hit me hard.

And while I could not speak to any of the ongoing research in the field, which is certainly advancing rapidly, I did share a story that I wanted her to hear...

One day, a boy approached his father and asked, "What is my life worth?"

The father handed his son a small stone and replied, "Take this stone to the market. If anyone asks the price, raise two fingers and don't say anything."

The boy did as he was told and went to the market. An old woman approached him and asked, "How much is that rock? I want it for my garden.

"The boy held up two fingers, to which the woman replied, "$2? I'll take it."

Before she could complete the deal, the boy turned and ran home to tell his father what had happened.

His father nodded and said, "Ok, now take the stone to the museum. If anyone asks the price, raise two fingers and don't say anything."

The boy did as he was told and went to the museum. A man in a suit approached him and asked, "How much is that stone? I want it for my home."

The boy held up two fingers, to which the man replied, "$200? I'll take it."

Before he could complete the deal, the boy turned and ran home to tell his father what had happened.

His father nodded and said, "Ok, now take the stone to the precious gem store. If the owner asks the price, raise two fingers and don't say anything."

The boy did as he was told and went to the stone store. The owner of the store approached him and asked, "Where did you find that rare stone? I have been looking for it my entire life. How much will you sell it for?"

The boy held up two fingers, to which the man replied, "$20,000? I'll take it."

But once again, before he could complete the deal, the boy turned and ran home to tell his father what had happened...

The lesson of the story is a powerful one:

You choose your own worth. You determine your value. You get to place yourself in the right light.

Every single one of us is born with a set of attributes. And importantly, there are few attributes that are universally good or bad, because most attributes have within them the potential for both.

Ambition can lead to suffering if not channeled appropriately. Obsession can help create extreme success and extreme loneliness. Sociability may harm focus. Intelligence may spark overthinking.

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was ​once asked​ about his struggles with depression:

Interviewer: Is there anything else that has contributed to your ability to either stave off or mitigate depressive episodes or manage?

Seinfeld: No. I still get them. The best thing I ever heard about it was that it’s part of a kit that comes with a creative aspect to the brain, that a tendency to depression always seems to accompany that. And I read that like 20 years ago and that really made me happy. So I realized well, I wouldn’t have all this other good stuff without that, that just comes in the kit.

We are dynamic beings. Each of us will thrive in certain ways, but struggle in others. That is part of the human experience. It's what makes us human.

It just comes with the kit.

So, ultimately, this is the message I found myself sharing with the young mother (and with all of you):

Your ability to thrive is dynamic, not static.

It depends on the light you place yourself in. The environment you place yourself in. The people you surround yourself with.

In some lights, you'll struggle. You'll feel undervalued. Underestimated. Ignored.

In other lights, you'll thrive. You'll feel valued. Supported. Stretched. Believed in.

As an individual, our responsibility is to place ourselves in the right light. As a parent, our responsibility is to help our kids find that light for themselves.

It may not be the light you expected to shine in. It may not be the one others expect of you. But it will be yours.

You get to choose the light you place yourself in.

This is the most important choice in life.