The Japanese Philosophy That Changed My Life
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In Japan, there are four beautiful trees that all bloom during the spring: Cherry, Plum, Peach, and Apricot.
But interestingly, they don't bloom concurrently.
Each tree blooms on its own timeline. Its own cadence. Its own order.
The Japanese philosophy of Oubaitori is a manifestation of this natural way:
Humans, like trees, bloom on their own timelines. Their journeys and growth are unique to the individual.
Comparison, therefore, is futile. Your growth journey is never going to match someone else's. It is yours alone. Your development. Your change.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy."
He was right.
I'm reminded of a story I shared in my book of a friend's experience with this very phenomenon:
He told me that after he closed the deal [to sell his company], he had taken a group of friends and family for a weeklong trip on a rented yacht to celebrate. He was excited for the moment when everyone would board the beautiful vessel, which he had paid for with his hard-earned sale proceeds. But when everyone arrived, something peculiar happened.
One of his friends looked over to the next mooring where an even bigger and more luxurious yacht was docked and commented, "Whoa, I wonder who’s in that one!"
The happiness and satisfaction that my friend had felt around the moment quickly deflated at the comparison.
There’s always going to be a bigger boat.
The best way to diminish your achievement is to compare it to someone else's.
What you give your energy to will grow. Give your energy to envy and jealousy, they will grow. They will consume your life.
And the truth is that every ounce of energy you give toward an obsession over their path is an ounce of energy you cannot give toward a focus of your own.
There's an old saying that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. It's true. If you stare outward, you will convince yourself that everyone has it better than you. That everyone's beating you. That everyone's better off than you.
Remember the philosophy of Oubaitori. Don't stare outward. Turn inward. Tend your garden. Sow your seeds. Water your grass.
The grass is greener where you water it.
