You are a status-­seeking animal—and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Status can be defined as the standing or positioning of one person in relation to another person or group. Status is a basic form of social currency—it dictates our interactions with those around us.

While it may carry something of a negative connotation, status is a very natural (and important!) human phenomenon. Cecilia Ridgeway, an American sociologist, refers to status as a "brilliant social technology," as it enables humans to coordinate and organize

For our ancient ancestors, status was typically signaled through displays of physical prowess, size, or association with the most attractive mates.

In today’s world, where overt demonstrations of physical fortitude are (generally) frowned upon, it’s not altogether surprising that humans choose to signal their relative position in society largely through the acquisition and display of materials.

That Rolex, Range Rover, and Gucci bag—­the status symbols of the present world—­are the modern-­day equivalents of our ancestors’ chest pounding.

The problem: The durable, lasting status you seek—­the true respect and admiration of your peers—­cannot be bought.

The most universally treasured, valuable, and durable things in life cannot be acquired with money. The things that earn the deep respect and admiration of your peers are not for sale.

In this piece, I want to share a framework for playing the right status games...

Note: This is an excerpt derived from my new book, The 5 Types of Wealth. You can have it in your hands in just a few days!

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How to Play the Right Status Games

There are two types of status:

Bought Status is the improved social positioning garnered through acquired status symbols:

• The expensive car, watch, handbag, or jewelry acquired for the sole purpose of showing others your financial wealth
• The club membership that makes you a part of the scene
• The private plane flight or boat trip taken more for the Instagram photo than for the utility

Bought Status is fleeting. It may improve your relative position, but only until the next level is unlocked and you’re right back at the bottom. It will keep you trying to enter what author C.S. Lewis famously referred to as the inner ring:

"As long as you are governed by that desire you will never get what you want. You are trying to peel an onion; if you succeed there will be nothing left."

Earned Status, however, is the real respect, admiration, and trust received through hard-won treasures:

• The freedom to choose how to spend your time (and whom to spend it with)
• The healthy, loving relationships made possible by years of present energy
• The purpose-imbued work and mastery within a domain, built through years of effort
• The wisdom accumulated through decades of lived experience
• The adaptable mind shaped through a steady mindfulness practice and thoughtful introspection
• The strong, fit physique built through hours of movement and disciplined eating
• The professional promotion or company sale achieved after an extended period of hard work in the dark

Earned Status is lasting.

It will elicit the durable respect, admiration, and trust that you seek from the people who matter to you, those whose opinions you value and cherish.

Earned Status is what we should all be after.

The Status Game Tests

Here are two simple tests you can use to assess the games you are playing:

The Bought-Status Test

Would I buy this thing if I could not show it to anyone or tell anyone about it?

If the answer to this question is NO, you're playing a Bought Status Game.

Asking this question cuts through the noise to determine if the item itself provides happiness or utility, or if its sole purpose is to signal your success or achievement to others.

The Earned-Status Test

Could the richest person in the world acquire the thing I want by tomorrow?

If the answer to this question is NO, you're playing an Earned Status Game.

The world’s richest people cannot build a loving relationship any faster than you. They cannot forge a healthy mind and body any faster than you. None of them can buy their way to expertise, wisdom, or purpose.

Playing the Right Games

Status games are a part of life.

They are critical for establishing your position in the relative hierarchies that govern your personal and professional worlds.

You will never escape them—you simply need to play the right ones.

Remember: In your work, relationships, and life, focus on what must be earned, not what can be bought.